AUTHOR: loopy
CATEGORY: A bit of fun
RATING: General
SPOILERS: None
SET: Somewhere near the beginning
SUMMARY: The others decide it is time Daniel brushed up on his outdoor skills...
Written as an answer to challenge #10 on the Heliopolis site
"Come on, Daniel." Daniel looked up to see his friend standing in the doorway impatiently drumming his fingers on the door frame.
"Okay, I'm nearly ready." Daniel sighed and thumbed through his papers again.
"Daniel!" Jack said warningly.
"Do we have to do this today?" the scientist would be much happier staying at base and working on his current project. Reluctantly, not bothering to wait for Jack's reply, for he knew what it would be, he scribbled a few last minute notes, then stood up and reached for his jacket.
"You have got things ready, haven't you?" Jack asked.
"What? Oh, of course, yes, absolutely," said Daniel vaguely, looking around him.
"Well come on then." Jack turned and walked away, then turned back to find Daniel still standing in the middle of his office. "What's the problem now?"
"Oh, nothing." Daniel gave his papers a last longing glance, then followed the Colonel, almost struggling to keep up with his friend's long strides.
They met Sam and Teal'c at the car, Teal'c still looking bemused. "Remind me again what this is called," he requested.
"It's called a picnic, Teal'c," explained Sam patiently.
"And the purpose?"
"Well, we felt that Daniel needed a little more practice at outdoor skills..." she started.
"...And we'd rather he practiced somewhere where his food is the worst danger we're likely to face," finished off Jack, as he climbed in the car. Daniel gave him a hurt look, then started the engine.
The team left the car in a layby about a mile from camp, and hoisted their backpacks. "Okay, Daniel, lead the way," ordered Jack. Daniel looked around, then pointed vaguely north. "I think there's a field over there somewhere," he suggested. Jack shrugged, then nodded. "That's as good a direction as any, I suppose," he grunted, and they started walking.
After about 10 minutes they came to a gate, beyond which lay a grassy field. "How about here," Daniel suggested nervously. Jack looked round. "You're the boss for this trip, remember," he said. "Okay then, here's fine," Daniel returned, trying to sound confident. He had a strange feeling this adventure was doomed. The tent he had eventually mastered, after a lot of help from Jack, but his cooking had never been a strong point, and he had a feeling the others would complain, whatever effort he had made.
"Sandwiches?" said Sam, as Daniel unpacked the food from his backpack. He nodded. "Simple and quick," he said, "and surely you can't complain about that."
Jack picked up a sandwich, peeled it open and peered inside. Then he looked up incredulously at Daniel. "Jam sandwiches?" he asked. Daniel nodded, flustered. "Yes, strawberry jam," he replied, "my favourite. Is there a problem?"
Jack looked at Sam, who was trying to stifle a grin, and then at Teal'c, who had picked up a sandwich, inspected the filling then tried a little on the end of his finger. "I guess not," he said in resignation. "At least you can't have burnt it."
The team sat around the packs munching on sandwiches and talking about the countryside, trying to teach Teal'c a little of nature.
"Daniel Jackson, what is the name of the animal which stands about waist high to a man, has a square looking body and teats hanging below it?" Teal'c asked. "The colour is usually brown and white."
Daniel thought for a minute. "I think you mean a cow, Teal'c," he said.
"Ah yes, I remember now," replied Teal'c. "And is this animal dangerous?"
"No," said Daniel. "This is the animal from which we get milk to drink."
"Actually, they can be dangerous under some circumstances," corrected Sam. "I heard the other week of a woman who got killed by a herd of cows because they felt their calves were threatened."
"And this calf, that is a baby cow?" Teal'c wanted to know.
"That's right. Why the sudden interest in cows?" enquired Jack.
"Because there is a group of these cows walking across the field towards us."
"Herd of cows," corrected Daniel automatically, then looked up. "Oh boy."
Where the team were sitting, the other end of the field was out of sight over a slight rise in the land, and over that rise there had appeared about twenty cows with their calves, walking rather forebodingly towards them. Suddenly from the bushes behind Daniel there came a forlorn "moo", and Daniel turned hurriedly to see a young calf who had managed to circle behind them.
Jack stood up, and motioned the others to do likewise. "I suggest we get out of here before Mum comes looking for Baby," he said quietly but clearly. Daniel bent to pick up the picnic things. "Leave them, Daniel," Jack warned.
Suddenly one of the cows charged towards the group. Teal'c grabbed Sam's arm and pulled her out of the animal's way, but Daniel was still bent over the picnic things, and was a clear target. He went sprawling into the thorny bush, as the calf trotted out, nuzzled its mother, and then the animals trotted away.
Sam gasped as Daniel extracted himself painfully from the bush, his shirt torn and covered with a large red stain. "Hold on, Daniel, " she cried, grabbing her pack and searching through it. "I'll get the first aid kit."
She found what she wanted and hurried over to him, fishing out a dressing on her way. Then she stopped, looked more closely at his shirt, then dipped her finger in it and licked the end.
"Jam!" she said in disgust, then looked round to see Jack kneeling down laughing hysterically. Teal'c next to him was also smiling broadly.
"Oh, Daniel," Jack cried, when his laughter had died down enough to enable him to speak. "I know you don't deliberately cook up trouble, but you do get us in some sticky situations! You certainly can't say life's a picnic with you around!"
